Udaipur - the touristy India

Hey what is this!? Fuck me I paid for a ticket to the obtrusive, beautiful, revolting, stinky, dirty, grimy, poor, noisy, inefficient place that calls itself India. The Disneyland where you pay to be harassed. The one where you can't revenge on the cow who's doody you just stepped in because it's ass is holy. The one where to remember what blue, clear sky looks like you have to buy a pen from one of those annoying little not-in-schoolboys and draw yourself a picture. Not to worry though, they're not great negotiators. The price will drop from 250 rupees for one pen to about 100 by just repeating "no" for twenty one and a half times. After that do the walking away trick and they will suddenly cost 50 rupees each.  Anyway, I'm losing the plot. We found ourselves in Udaipur. The center of the city seems only 12.39% as dirty as any other city we've been in over here, we can see a blue sky and all those looneys-on-wheels seem to have lost their ability to honk their horns at anything that does or does not move. On top of that the guy at our hotels reception admits he likes soccer better than cricket. Apparently out here they even let him keep his passport for saying that out loud. What's more they work efficiently through the check in process by showing Sandra two available options for the room and letting me sign in while they tell me about what to avoid, what to see, where to eat and the password for our included wireless interweb. Before we knew it we were admiring the room's view to the real big star of Octopussy... the lake palace.  Refreshed we venture into the city. Our naturally built up tourist reflexes alive and kicking. "hi sir how do you do?" Ignore. Must ignore. Look straight, keep walking, turn corner and.... pfff breathe out. Successfully avoided another persistent shopkeeper or scammer or whatever he was. In fear of spending our days going from one shop to his brothers buddy's shop to their uncle's dog's we unfortunately hardly get to mingle with the locals. "Hi sir which country?" " Australia. " CRAP! I answered! Okay what is the fucker selling? How do I get away from him? "sy-d-ney! Good day sir!" he says and walks on leaving me dumbfounded. WTF!? Hey come back I didn't pay for this! Come on draw me into your shop! Want my money? Hey where you going!? What is this place? Friendly non persistent shopkeepers, friendly locals, fresh air, beautiful lake, not too hot... We asked the locals. They call it Udaipur. Just to make it more authentic we took the boat to the other lake palace and were happy to be overcharged for a disgusting pink strawberry and green chilli mocktail. Aaah that's the life!